Sorry for having great tits and correct opinions on everything. Mug
Not to suck my own nipple... Mug
I'm exhausted from other people being fucking stupid. Mug
Cuntstipated definition Mug
If you think I'm a bitch you should meet my sister. Mug
My vocabulary at work Mug
I'm trying to stop being mean but it's like y'all have to stop being stupid first. Mug
I wake up everyday and think what the fucking fuck. Mug
I'm bilingual bitch I haha and jaja. Mug
I'm always forced to do shit I'm not qualified for, like being nice to fucking idiots. Mug
I don't always tolerate stupid people, but when I do, I'm probably at work. Mug
I love the smell of no kids in the morning. Mug
I can't come to work today, because I'm sick of this shit. Mug
Just an old hoe carrying on Mug
Shut up, I wear heels bigger than your d*ck. Mug
A wise woman once said "fuck this shit" and she lived happily ever after. Mug
Fuck off. I mean good morning. Mug
I used to be so nice & sweet now I’m just like fuck you, fuck that, fuck everybody. Mug
I taste better naked. Mug
Being the family comedian, model and thug is so hard on me. Mug
Stop telling me I look mad, that's my fucking face. Mug
Shit i don’t have time for Mug
Let's keep the dumbfuckery to a minimum today. Mug
My cat and I talk shit about you. Mug
I just fucking love plants. Mug
Overworked and underfucked. Mug
Fuck The only fucking word you can use in any fucking situation and still make fucking sense. Mug
I'm the nicest rudest most caring IDGAF person you'll ever meet. Mug
I do care. I just don't give a fuck. Mug
Keep my cat's name out of your fucking mouth. Mug
Asshole with feelings. Mug
The boobs are real, the smile is fake. Mug
I do not spew profanities, I enunciate them clearly like a fucking lady. Mug
I get so excited about gardening that I wet my plants. Mug
I use the word fuck to clear my throat chakra. Mug
I want a coffee, a tattoo and a vacation. Mug
That married by 30 shit looking real 45ish. Mug
I did not wake up to be a weak ass bitch. Mug
due to unfortunate circumstances, I am awake. Mug
I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face. Mug
Ask me about my excessive knowledge of serial killers. Mug
Just a women with a big D energy. Mug
Dead inside but still horny. Mug
I do not have enough coffee or middle fingers for today. Mug
Sorry I can't I'm watching serial killer documentaries. Mug
My attitude is kinda savage but my heart is gold. Mug
This morning's coffee brought to you by "here we fucking go again" Mug
Hello is it tea you're looking for. Mug
I'm only a bitch before I have my coffee, just kidding get the hell outta my face. Mug
My cat is a rockstar and I'm the fucking manager. Mug
My anxiety is chronic but this ass is iconic. Mug
University of bad bitches. Mug
Probably hungry. Likely sleepy. Always cold. Mug
Who else is tired from being a magical ass bitch all day. Mug
Sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I've said. Mug
Please don't be rude to me because my rude will outrude your rude and I will make you cry. Mug
A fun thing to do in the morning is not to talk to me. Mug
I am a cute little ray of pitch black. Mug
It's a beautiful day to leave me alone. Mug
My mental breakdown is over. I'm a bad bitch again. Mug
You can just supercalifuckilistic kissmyassadocious. Mug
I'm a strong woman, who is raising a strong girl which is why I need a strong drink. Mug
I just want my throat choked, ass grabbed and dreams supported. Mug
Aunt. Like a mum, but way cooler. See also; drunk. Mug
If my mouth doesn't say it, my face definitely will. Mug
As the owner of a fat ass and big heart my life should not be this difficult. Mug
I’m not as mean as I could be and I want people to be more grateful for that. Mug
I’m a dirty slut for things that give me acid reflux. Call me Pept-hoe Bismol. Mug
Drink coffee because crack fucks you up. Mug
Why I’m looking so relaxed ? Well, I got fucked this morning. Mug
Back off I have a crazy sister and I'm not afraid to use her. Mug
I'm not feeling very worky. Mug
I got PTSD pussy thats so delicious. Mug
I'm in a really good place spiritually. So, please fuck off. Namaste. Mug
My mom is that bitch and I'm that bitch jr. Mug
Off is the direction I would like you to fuck. Mug
Far, far away there is a land called cuntycuntcuntocunt. I am their Queen. Mug
I'm not built for no soft ass man. I talk back and I don't listen. Mug
Having a vagina doesn't stop me from believing that my balls are bigger than yours. Mug
This is as fucking festive as I get. Mug
I have a “WTF is wrong with people” moment at least five times a day. Mug
A poem about winter. It's cold. I hate this shit. The end. Mug
My boobs are big because I keep all my rage stored there. Mug
Coffee. Because fuck this fucking shit. Mug
Sorry I don't speak cuntanese. Mug
I'm like heaven on earth, a H.O.E if you will. Mug
Grant me the serenity to... Mug
